One Life Remaining
by KaitanAtreides
Summary: After the climactic final battle, Naruto uses a Space-Time jutsu to take himself, Temari, and Gaara back in time, so this never has to happen. NaruTema, R&R PLEASE! Trying to be funny, hope it works. "Wait a second. You already know Rasengan? And HIRAISHIN!" -Jiraiya
1. SpaceTime Ninjutsu

Just an idea that popped into my head... Here you go. And I'm not forgetting my other stories... Well maybe...

Naruto's life was looking pretty sucky at this moment. Kabuto's Edo Tensei army had finally fallen, along with Tobi and the real Uchiha Madara, but at such a price. The shockwaves and final use of Tobi's space-time Kamui-esque technique had swept up much of the allied armies. Naruto's final Hiraishin and then Fuuton: Rasenshuriken had ripped Tobi in half, faster than he could warp away and destroying his chakra pathways. Gaara was barely still alive within his shield of sand, having been the only Kage to survive the Final Susano'o and its suicidal final technique, which had still overcome Tsunade's Strength of a Hundred, the Raikage's Lightning Armor, and... wow. The man had killed four Kages in the space of ten minutes, admittedly at the cost of his own life.

Gaara's shield of sand slowly slipped down and he looked around, astonished at the devastation caused. Bile rose in his throat as he saw the dead and dying of all those he knew. Kankuro lay amid the ruins of shattered puppets, Hinata had been sucked into the massive vortex, Ino and Shikamaru lay back to back, still smiling amid the broken and mauled Zetsu. Chouji lay a little ways off. Even the second Ino-Shika-Cho trio could do little against these... monstrosities.

Gaara turned at the sound of footsteps and saw his first and last friend Naruto walking up slowly and tiredly, every step an effort, supporting a badly wounded Sabaku no Temari almost... tenderly? That would explain where Temari had been disappearing to those nights. Her massive battle-fan was ripped and torn, charred and spattered with blood. Naruto looked sadly at his friend and fell to his knees, bringing Temari with him. As her head lolled from side to side, Naruto patted her cheek gently, saying urgently, "Temari-chan, honey, stay awake. It's just a few minutes longer."

Sabaku no Gaara raised a nonexistent eyebrow at how Uzumaki was addressing his sister, but let it slide. Extenuating circumstances and all.

"Gaara." Naruto looked up, a fire in his eyes. "We can fix this. We can stop this from having ever happened."

The Kazekage again quirked a nonexistent eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"One of my father's old scrolls I found recently. Did I tell you he was a genius at space-time ninjutsu? He has an experimental time-travel jutsu he made. We can send ourselves back in time, to before this ever happened. Not our bodies, but just our memories. Temari's too weak, she won't make to the medics. But with this jutsu, all three of us can go back and stop any of this from happening. And Tema-chan won't die."

"Quickly then." Naruto then pulled out a pair of scrolls and crossed them on the ground. He gestured for Gaara to come closer as he made handseals. Naruto paused for a second and said, "I'll see you guys at the Chuunin Exams." He then finished and struck the ground, crying "Jikanton: Kako no Hanten! (Time Release: Reversing the Past)!" and the scrolls swirled around them in a spiral, a flash, and they were gone.

Naruto sat up breathing heavily, and the little blonde shivered as his future memories returned to his young body. He quickly looked over and checked the date. The day of his genin exams. A little further back than was necessary, but that gave lots of time to train for defeating Tobi and Akatsuki.

Smiling, he ran to his clothes drawers. That was a pretty bad shade of orange. He needed some new clothes, and now he knew where to get them.

Temari sat up in bed breathing heavily as her memories returned. _Naruto_, she thought. _That lovable idiot actually found a time-travel jutsu. I'll need to get stronger this time around, though._ Then another thought occurred to her and she bolted upright. "Gaara!" she called.

Gaara, who was sitting on the roof, unknowingly waiting for Yashamaru, clutched his head as the memories of the future flooded in. Then, his suddenly increased senses heard a man creeping up behind him, and it hit him that this was the night Yashamaru attacked him. He raised a hand and said warmly, "Hello Uncle. It's not very nice to try and kill your nephew, even if the Kazekage orders you to."

"It was my honor to accept this mission. You killed my sister. And for that, I hate you. She must've hated you as well, for she didn't name you out of love, she named you out of hatred of what you'd become."

Gaara turned, a smile (wait what? This is the psychopath GAARA!) plastered on his face an said, "Lying is also not a good thing, Uncle. You still love me, and this is a test by the Kazekage to make me lose control and turn into an emotional wreck. That's not a good thing," he explained.

Yashamaru blinked once, twice. And turned around to leave. Gaara added, "Tell the Kazekage it is not the beast which drives the sand, it is another's will which does. And assassination attempts don't make up for not giving me a birthday present."


	2. Genin Exams Begin!

A/N: How was the first chapter? I'm a little disappointed that as I write this there are no reviews for the story, but I'll just write more. Review please!

And this chappie took a little longer because I feel I need longer chapters.

"I really need to lose the orange," said a twelve-year-old Naruto. But now, with his memories of the future, he knew where to go. That walled compound that nobody ever wanted to tell him about was the Namikaze compound, and his by right. So, he activated the blood seal, which recognized him as he strolled in, whistling innocently. He found the room that had clothes for someone his size, and found a white T-shirt with two gold dragons (A/N: Twin Rising Dragons anyone?) intricately stitched on the front and back. Looking further he found white fingerless gloves with black metal plates stitched on the back, and took those 'cause they looked awesome. Some basic dark shinobi pants, some bands on his sleeves (the resemblance to his father was too awesome to pass up), and his outfit was complete. Wait, one more thing. He found a low drawer and pulled out a white trenchcoat the same style as his father's, but plain and unadorned. Then, being finished, he left to take the academy test which this time around would most likely be pitifully easy.

He ignored the stares he was receiving in the streets, as many did not recognize him as Uzumaki Naruto the demon brat, as there was no orange or goggles and he dressed like a badass. Some of the girls screamed "KAWAII!" and tried to jump him, but he avoided them all with practiced ease. Otherwise Temari would kill them even from Sunagakure. When he arrived in the classroom the entire class stopped talking to stare at him. Naruto, noticing the looks, asked innocently, "What? Is there something on my face?" Kiba shook his head at how dense the prankster was. "Dude, where'd you steal the new clothes?"

"Stealing? Me?" Naruto put a hand to his chest, mock horrified. Then Uchiha Sasuke walked in and saw the dobe between him and his seat. He threw a lazy right hook that the old Naruto wouldn't have noticed before it sent him down a desk or three. But this wasn't the old Naruto. Reacting faster than most of the students could see, Naruto turned, fell onto his left palm for a one-handed handstand before swinging both his feet into the shocked Last Uchiha's stomach. Needless to say, this made his trenchcoat swing out behind him epically as in slow motion Sasuke crumpled before flying into the wall, leaving a Sasuke-shaped indent. Again the shocked silence as Naruto landed in a graceful crouch. Naruto scratched the back of his head and said sheepishly, "Oops. Reflex, sorry."

Kiba was again the first to speak up. "Dude, that's better reflexes than the frickin' Jounins!"

"Umm... Awesome clothes make an awesome ninja?"

"NARUTO - BAKA! STOP TRYING TO BE COOLER THAN SASUKE-KUN!" screeched a certain pink-haired banshee. Everyone within a ten-meter radius winced. Then Iruka entered the classroom and conversation ceased. No one wanted to be kicked out of the Genin Exams for talking. Little did they know that sort of thing was only in the Chuunin Exams.

"Aburame, Shino."

And so the ninjutsu portion of the exams progressed, many passing, some failing, as Naruto had in the original timeline. But when "Uzumaki, Naruto," was called, Naruto was ready, as chakra control was a mental thing and Naruto had plenty of that from the future.

"So, Naruto, perform a henge, kawarimi, and make three bunshin to pass."

Almost before the words were done, Naruto had made sixteen Kage Bunshins, had them all (and him) henge into the Yondaime Hokage, and kawarimi with random objects all over the room until there was a storm of chibi-Minato's and random objects being switched. Iruka was about to yell at Naruto to stop it when _he_ was used for a kawarimi, and the chibi-Minato at the desk looked up, stroked its chin thoughtfully, and said, "Congratulations, you pass." and wrote down in big letters "NAMI" crossed it out, and wrote again, "UZUMAKI NARUTO, PASS." Mizuki, annoyed at the demon brat actually passing, struck him in the face with a kunai, screw the consequences. Nevertheless he was greatly surprised when it poofed into chakra smoke. One that was hopefully the real one grabbed a hitai-ate on a white cloth and tied it on. Iruka became suspicious when he noticed that when the henge was dropped, all that changed was mainly the hairstyle and the whiskers. Otherwise he seemed a mini-me of the Yondaime. The class was greatly perturbed to be on the receiving end of "**Namikaze Hijutsu: Chibi Minato no Arashi!** (Namikaze Secret Technique: Storm of Chibi Minato's!)" as he entered the classroom. Nobody noticed how Naruto implied himself as a Namikaze.

0000000000000000

Temari and Kankuro were arguing over who would take Gaara his food, Kankuro insisting it was the woman's job and Temari offhandedly replying that if Kankuro wanted it done, he should do it himself. The main point of the argument was that since Sabaku no Gaara was always brooding or killing people, one of his siblings should bring him food. As they argued, Gaara came in and began eating his food, laughing quietly as he did so. As the laughter slowly filtered into Kankuro and Temari's auditory processors, the argument stopped abruptly. Temari smiled, hugged Gaara, and said, "I didn't hear you come in, otouto."

Gaara waved to Kankuro over his sister. "Hello Kankuro-niichan."

Kankuro, believing this was the old psycho Gaara, looked around wildly for tendrils of sand. Was this some form of last kindness before he was killed? Finally calling him older brother? Temari chuckled as Kankuro sprinted out of the room as fast as he could. Then her face suddenly grew serious.

"So what do we need to do to change what happens?"

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Kakashi wandered into the almost-empty classroom his customary two hours late, absorbed in his book and giggling. Then a chalk-filled eraser fell on his head, invoking a strange sense of deja vu. But no one had ever dropped an eraser on his head before, so where was this strange feeling coming from? Whatever. Ignoring the cries of "SENSEI YOU'RE LATE!" a grunt, and suspiciously silence from the blonde. Despite what the reports seemed to indicate, he was sitting quietly on the ceiling, meditating apparently. His visible eyebrow arched. He was a genius in some senses of the word, after all. The long coat, the blonde hair, the whiskers- dammit! It made sense now! That was Minato-sensei's son! He had been one of the first to know when Minato had gotten Kushina pregnant, but in the aftermath, he had simply fallen off the charts, and been forgotten. Just like Minato-sensei, hiding his true strength. Kakashi quickly revised his plan of training the Uchiha and using the others as stepping-stones. Minato-sensei would have wanted the best of help for his son after he was gone. But the pink-haired fangirl continued to shout. "AND NARUTO-BAKA ISN'T EVEN HERE!" Kakashi suppressed a smile at this, and was unsurprised when Naruto dropped down in front of them, causing the banshee to scream in shock and the Uchiha to begin fuming.

_How could the dobe learn such a skill when I can't? Dammit! I'm not strong enough! _thought the Avenger.

_Naruto-baka! Stop trying to be cooler than Sasuke-kun!_

**Shannaro!** shouted a strange persona with "Inner Sakura" printed on their forehead, while punching a bag with a crude picture of Naruto on it.

The blonde, not noticing the byplay, nodded to Kakashi, blues eyes dancing mischievously.

Kakashi, still thinking, said absently, "Meet me on the roof." while Shunshining away to the roof, positioning himself so he had a commanding view on the door. So, needless to say, he was surprised when the blonde was sitting on the ground in front of him. Again, the eyebrow arch, then a single eye smile. "Good job Naruto. What technique did you use to get up here?"

The blonde who was full of surprises today shrugged, saying guiltily, "nothing..." while shoving something behind his back. Kakashi looked straight at him, saying, "No secrets from your sensei. What's behind your back?"

Then the boy began to sweat and Kakashi idly wondered what could possibly evoke this reaction. But then he was shocked beyond belief when the boy slowly and nervously pulled out a three-pronged kunai with a certain seal wrapped around the handle.

_Damn! I shouldn't have gotten lazy, now my cover's blown. Quick, excuse or truth. Umm..._

Kakashi's mind, too, was running at a thousand miles a second. _What in Kami's name... WAAH! HIRAISHIN KUNAI! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!_

"Naruto! Where did you get that kunai?"

Doing his best to remain calm, Naruto replied, "The Namikaze compound. The blood seal let me in anyway."

Then of course the other members of Team 7 arrived and the conversation was cut short, but the last of the Hatakes gave the last Namikaze a meaningful glance that seemed to say, "See me afterwards. Hokage's office." Naruto, for his part, had no idea how Kakashi could impart that information with a single look, but settled down, ignoring the screeching and grunting from the other members upon their arrival.

"So, guys, let's introduce ourselves, name, likes, dislikes, you know."

Sakura piped up, saying, "You go first, sensei. Show us how it's done."

"Hmm... Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi, I like and dislike things, I have some hobbies. Blondie, you next."

"I'm Nami- I mean Uzumaki Naruto!" Kakashi was the only one noting the first attempt. "I like ramen! AndTemachan!" The last part was said so quickly no one understood what he just said. "I dislike people who judge others without knowing them! And giant demon foxes!" Cue confused blinking. "My dream is to become Hokage, dattebayo!"

Cue more blinking. "Emo kid, you're next."

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I dislike many things, and like few things. My dream, well more of an ambition, is to restore my clan, and kill a certain man."

The unusual persona identifying itself as Inner Sakura cooed, **Sasuke-kun is so cool!**

Then Sakura went, saying, 'I'm Haruno Sakura! My likes-" she looked at Sasuke and squealed. "My dreams for the future-" she looked at Sasuke again, squealed even louder, turned red, and stopped talking.

Mentally groaning, Kakashi prompted, "Any dislikes?"

She then declared hotly, "Naruto-baka and Ino-pig!"

So then the Jounin-sensei told all of them, "Be at training ground 7 at eight for our final Genin test. Don't eat breakfast, unless you like puking." And then he shunshin'ed away, ignoring the shout of "WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINAL GENIN TEST! SENSEI COME BACK!"

Then Kakashi was in front of the Hokage, dragging in Naruto. "Hokage-dono, Naruto has something you need to see. Naruto-" he hesitantly pulled out the object again. The old man's pipe fell out of his mouth.

Break blah blah talking about Naruto's heritage

Kakashi wandered into the bridge area three hours late, ignoring the already-expected "SENSEI YOU'RE LATE!" and seeing a brooding Uchiha and a meditating blonde. Again. So then he took out his bells and said, "The test is to see if you can grab these bells from me. And as you can see, only two of you can pass, one of you will go back to the academy." At this point Sakura wasn't even listening, she was staring at Sasuke hungrily.

"Sakura, I said BELLS. And ME."

"Oh." she said, quieting down.

Continuing on, "Come at me with intent to kill, otherwise you won't get the bells. Go."

The three shot off in different directions as Kakashi pulled out his beloved Icha Icha and giggled. He was at the part where Reiko was finding out her lover was actually her brother, but she didn't care! Ahhh, good literature. Then Sasuke came out. After a quick taijutsu spar, in which Sasuke's above-genin capabilities were showcased, Sasuke began to make handseals. "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique!)"

_Hmmm. Genin shouldn't have that much chakra. But, your average Uchiha has been tossing around Katons since they were four. Whatever. Ooohhhh! _"Reiko exclaimed, "Even if you are my brother, it doesn't matter! I must have you anyways!" The people nearby gasped in shock."_ Heehee._

Sasuke looked down the path his fireball had made, only to be shocked when there was no Kakashi anywhere in sight. Where is he? Above? Right? Left? Behind? No! BELO-

And then the hands dragged him underground until only his head was aboveground. Then as he fumed, Kakashi went to find Sakura. Seriously, it was hard to hide with pink clothes and pink hair. Kakashi knocked her out with a simple genjutsu of Sasuke kissing Ino. Wow. And she was supposed to have a talent for genjutsu?

Then he looked around for the surprising blonde, only to find him lying in the ground watching clouds in a Shikamaru-esque fashion. "NARUTO-SAN! WHAT HAPPENED TO GETTING THE BELLS?" called Kakashi.

Suddenly there was a white flash that filled his vision, and when it disappeared half a second later, he was disoriented. He noticed a lack of the familiar weight of his kunai pouch, and when he looked down, the bells were gone too. He looked back at where Naruto stood, seeing him crouching on top of a three-pronged kunai, hair still whipping about from the speed of his passage, and opening the Icha Icha book.

"NO! ICHA ICHA!" cried Kakashi as he sprinted forward, arms flailing wildly. Then Naruto saw the page he had opened to and flew backwards in a stream of blood, managing to stay conscious.

Naruto quickly tossed the orange book at the madly onrushing Kakashi, sweatdropping as his new Sensei caught the book and cradled it to him, tears leaking from his visible eye. He cleared his throat and continued. "I figured out the test is about teamwork, but Sasuke ignored me altogether and Sakura tried to punch for trying to be better than her precious Sasuke-kun. So here, have your bells back." He tossed the bells, too, back to Kakashi and walked away.


	3. Jiraiya's Return, Transformation

A/N: Sorry for the delay, I was writing Suna no Kitsune, my other NaruTema story. Thanks to all the reviewers! **Break** by Three Days Grace.

Naruto stormed away from the training field. Kakashi was a strong ninja, and even a good teacher when he put his mind to it, but training that Uchiha traitor was not good. Perhaps he could apprenticed to Jiraiya early? Yes, that would probably work. Wait a second. His thoughts of Jiraiya brought up an idea. Did the toads from Mount Myoboku still accept him as a summoner? That was an interesting concept. As a summoning technique was a space-time ninjutsu, would he summon future frogs or little frogs with their older selves' memories like he himself had arrived? Ah, this was refreshingly confusing. He should probably do missions with Kakashi at least through Wave, but train with Jiraiya. That would probably work. Hmmmm... now to test his summon theories. He found his way to a higher-level training ground where there was little chance of being interrupted. He quickly summoned Gamakichi, and was pleasantly surprised when a full-size Gamakichi appeared.

**Yo. Hey Naruto-kun, why are you little? Wait a second... Konoha looks funny. Whaddya do now? **

"I used a space-time ninjutsu to send myself back into my younger body, so I can get stronger and stop Akatsuki. This is about the time of my genin exams. I wanted to see if summoning still works."

**Apparently so. That's a pretty awesome jutsu, show me sometime?**

"Why not. Sure."

**Got any candy?**

Stifling a laugh, Naruto handed him a bag of candies and asked him to ask Jiraiya to return to Konoha. Then he poofed away, most likely to Mount Myoboku.

Naruto grinned before flashing to the Namikaze compound. Jiraiya would be very confused when he returned to Konoha, and Naruto planned to make full use of his ability to summon without Jiraiya knowing he had signed the contract. Let's see here... How to dress up like his father? Oh yeah, missions. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! Problem fixed.

Jiraiya arrived at the massive gates of Konoha, thinking hard and long about the problem at hand. A toad summons had asked him to return to Konohagakure and meet someone, specifically, in the Namikaze compound. After Minato had died twelve years ago, the Namikaze compound had been boarded up, and the seals on the gates only let Namikazes and several other individuals inside. So who was a Namikaze and could summon toads? Minato was the only one, and he was long dead. So what was going on here? He absent-mindedly waved to Izumo and Kotetsu as he passed, intent on finding out what was going on with this mysterious person. He hurried on his way to that old compound, not even pausing to watch the hotsprings. He might later regret that, as pervert gossip spoke of a woman the size of Tsunade who was visiting the hotsprings that day. But whoever had taken Minato's legacy was more important. He arrived at the Namikaze compound, near the Forest of Death, and took a deep breath when confronted by the twin dragons on the gate. Having steeled himself, he cut his finger and placed blood on the seal at the door. Being one of the few non-Namikazes allowed into the compound, it gave in to him, the door dissolving and reforming after he had stepped inside. He had entertained many possibilities about what he might see, but none of them had involved Namikaze Minato sleeping in the sun with a small family of foxes curled up around him. Jiraiya almost had a heart attack, and the noise was enough to awaken the sleeping Minato – clone. It couldn't be him! He died, twelve years ago! Jiraiya had been there! So who was this? And how did he get in? He let his chakra seep out around him, but he couldn't detect any form of henge. So this was Minato for real? What. The. Hell.

Not moving so that he didn't disturb the foxes, Naruto said calmly, "Hello, Jiraiya-sensei."

This time, Jiraiya of the Sannin fainted.

Naruto had been training very hard, Naruto-style, with thousands of shadow clones, and he had been distracted by the events of the day and had received a royal butt-kicking, including an Uzumaki Rendan 1000 Hit Combo. Which hurt. Like hell. And Kyuubi wasn't sending him any chakra right now, so he decided to get his own. Drawing on his seal for chakra, he had accidentally pulled out some of his father's chakra instead of some healing Kyuubi chakra. Since his own reserves were almost out after six hours, his father's chakra had pretty much had free run of his coils. Demonic chakra in Naruto's body didn't change him as long as it all went back inside later, but a new source of human chakra... that was trouble. It was trying to heal, but its idea of "healed" was Namikaze Minato's body, so... that made trouble. Naruto had collapsed in a silent agony of pain as this chakra "healed" him into looking a lot more like Minato before he had managed to send the foreign chakra back into the seal. This hurt as much as it had in the Fourth Shinobi World War, but now he looked like a younger version of the Fourth Hokage. His voice was different, his hair was the same shade but now in those distinctive jaw-length bangs, he was taller, and more importantly, his reflexes and speed were now slightly weaker copies of the fastest ninja in the Five Shinobi Countries. So when he had woken up in the training grounds of the Namikaze estate, he had seen a perfect opportunity to prank Jiraiya-sensei. Anyway, Tema-chan had liked the changes in the old timeline, so it couldn't be bad in his opinion.

Jiraiya had quite a few questions when he woke up, all of which Naruto fielded before pleading for training. How could he refuse his godson?

Training came bright and early in the morning, and after sending a clone to do missions with Kakashi's team, Naruto was asked to list his techniques.

Twitching his hitai-ate, Naruto excitedly listed, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Kuchiyose no Jutsu, Rasengan, Hiraishin, Kyuubi Chakra Mode, Sage Mode, and a bunch of derived stuff. Oh, and Oiroke no Jutsu!"

"Wait, so let me get me straight. You already know Rasengan? And frickin' HIRAISHIN!?"

"And Fuuton: Rasenshuriken, and Oodama Rasengan, and Oodama Rasen Tairengan, and Mini-Rasenshuriken, and Wakusei Rasengan, and Senpou: Oodama Rasengan, and..." Jiraiya just stared slackjawed as the kid listed off dozens of Rasengan-based jutsus, and some that needed Sage Mode, and some needing something called Kyuubi Chakra Mode he'd never even heard of... Oh crap! Kyuubi Mode! Stop!

"KYUUBI Chakra Mode? What's going on? Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?" cried Jiraiya as he let loose a flood of anime tears.

"and Senpou: Chou Oodama Rasen Tarengan, wait what? Oh, Kyuubi Chakra Mode? I'm friends with Kurama now so I can draw on his chakra instead of mine. And Senpou: Chou Oodama Rasengan, and Senjutsu: Rasenrengan, and..."

Jiraiya was rather put out. This kid had his strongest technique, apparently was better at Fuuinjutsu than he was, had a ridiculous amount of Rasengan and Sage Mode techniques, and was now apparently a freakin' perfect jinchuuriki? What next? Being able to shoot Tailed Beast Balls?

"and Bijuudama, and Chou Mini-Bijuudama- well, those are in Bijuu Mode, but I've also got..."

Jiraiya began thumping his head rhythmically on the ground as Naruto listed his skills.

Kakashi walked into the Hokage's office, and Sarutobi Hiruzen looked up from a building permit to see him looking worried. "Hokage-dono, I'm worried about Naruto." The old man put the paperwork to the side and stared at Kakashi, all serious. "He hasn't shown up in person since the bell test, and his apartment hasn't been lived in in a month. How can I help Sensei's son?"

"He is now living in the Namikaze compound and training with Jiraiya, but I'd say he needs to spend some time with his team before the Chuunin Exams. I'll tell Jiraiya now, and thank you for your concern.


	4. Chuunin Exams Begin!

A/N: Happy to have received so many reviews so quickly! Thanks and we are at the Chuunin Exams! Temari and Gaara return! Kyuubi wakes up!

As Naruto sat in one of the craters he casually made every day in training, Jiraiya came hurrying over. "Naruto!" He turned to the Gama Sennin and raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

"The Hokage wants you to actually be with your team for the week leading up to the Chuunin Exams." Jiraiya could have sworn the kid lit up at the thought of Chuunin Exams.

_Tema-chan is coming back, Tema-chan is coming back, Tema-chan is coming back, oh yeah, Gaara too..._

"Woohoo! Chuunin Exams! Oh yeah, and Orochimaru's planning on invading with the Oto-nins and Suna-nins, but if my friends did their jobs Suna will still be on our side."

Jiraiya just stared at Naruto, who waved a hand in front of his face, snapped his fingers, poked him several times, all without effect.

**Looks like you broke him.**

_Hey, Kurama, you woke up. Time travel screws with demons, apparently. And that solves the problem of him asking how I came by this knowledge._

**Coulda told me first you were going to use that jutsu.**

_Yeah, yeah, I like Temari more than I like you._

_ S_o Naruto leisurely began to meander towards Training Ground 7, hands in trenchcoat pockets and whistling. No one besides Jiraiya and the Hokage knew of his transformation and he was apparently a rather desirable male now that no one recognized him as the demon. So this is how Sasuke felt with all those fangirls, he mused while using his new insane speed to dodge all of them easily, hands never leaving his pockets even against the kunoichis. When he arrived at the training grounds, Kakashi had just arrived. Was he really that late?

"Naruto-baka where have you been? You're late!"

"Well, you see, I was on my way here and I walked into a ladder festival, and I walked under so many ladders that I had to go to a nearby field and pick four-leaf clovers to counteract the bad luck, and after that happened, there was a black cat that tried to cross my path so I had to go the long way around."

Kakashi eye-smiled and gave Naruto a thumbs up at his Obito-esque excuses.

Then everyone noticed Naruto's new appearance and gawked.

_Heh. The dobe has to wear a henge to try and look cool._

_ Naruto-baka? Is that you? STOP TRYING TO BE COOLER THAN SASUKE-KUN!_

_ SENSEEEEIIIIII!_

One could easily guess who said what.

After several seconds, he noticed the stares and asked innocently, "What? Is there something on my face?" He rubbed his cheek furiously while everyone sweatdropped.

"Dobe, I know the Yondaime is your idol, but drop the henge. You're still the dead last."

"What henge, teme?" he stared completely innocently at Sasuke, who was getting a bad feeling about this.

"THE YONDAIME ONE, BAKA! YOU'LL NEVER BE COOL!" Cue wincing and sweatdrops.

He gave them a quizzical look and said, "I'm not using a henge."  
While the genin argued, Kakashi lifted his headband. No henge here. Either this is Minato-sensei or something screwy happened to Naruto. He informed Team 7, "He is not using any chakra. It appears his physical appearance has changed to match Namikaze Minato."

Naruto said, "Ehehehe..." while rubbing the back of his head.

A long discussion followed with Kakashi while SasuSaku did missions with a henged clone that looked like the old orange horror, which Sakura still believed to be his real appearance.

They were walking down the street arguing several hours later, when Konohamaru popped up and asked, "Hey boss, is the pink girl with the big forehead your girlfriend?"

"NO YOU STUPID CHILD!"

"Good, 'cause you could do much better."

"RAAAGH!"

Sakura chased Konohamaru around half of Konoha, Naruto following because he didn't want to see his disciple hurt. But then when Kono crashed into a genin dressed in a black catsuit with a strange bundle on his back, Naruto's face lit up, as did Temari's, and Gaara's from in the tree Sasuke was hiding. From behind Sakura, he put his finger to his lips. They were going to have some fun now.

Konohamaru struggled and kicked in Kankuro's grip, but it did no good against the taller, stronger genin. Naruto called up to the nearest tree, completely ignoring Kankuro, "Hey Sandman! Come down, everyone knows you're there!" Gaara Suna-Shunshin'ed down in a swirl of sand to stand before Naruto. Kankuro dropped Konohamaru, Sasuke fell out of his tree, and Sakura was being Sakura. You know, doing absolutely nothing. Temari was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Gaara clapped his right hand on Naruto's left shoulder, saying only, "Brother."

Naruto returned the gesture, saying, "Brother." before cheekily grinning and saying, "How's Shukaku-chan?"

At this point a very confused Kankuro had to cut in. "Wait what is this? Who are you and how do you know about his condition, jaan?"

Naruto, being Naruto, waggled his eyebrows and replied, "My jinchuuriki senses were tingling."

"What the hell?"

Naruto ignored him this time, as Naruto and Gaara's auras built around them, a red chakra visibly surrounding Naruto's right arm as yellow chakra surrounded Gaara's. The spiritual pressure built until Sakura was gasping for air and Konohamaru had passed out. Even Sasuke was watching with his Sharingan, trying to find the source of the dobe's power. At the point where most of them were flat on the ground except Temari, having her future experience to help, it suddenly stopped. Completely.

They shook hands the normal way and said, "It is good to see you again, brother."

"And you."

Kankuro was the first to recover, having lived with Gaara. "What the hell? Gaara's my brother, not yours, jaan!"

Sasuke was trembling,_ Brothers? There's a family with this power? Wait a second, they look nothing alike..._

Then Naruto turned to the blond girl, who appeared to be a Wind Mistress, and cried happily, "Temari-chan!"

"Naruto-kun!" Double flying glomp. Kankuro, needless to say, was angry at anyone trying for his nee-chan. Gaara was thinking quietly, _Demon containers need their lovin'._

A small crowd of other chuunin hopefuls gathered, having felt the chakra emanations. Needless to say, everyone in Sakura and Naruto's class was confused. A blonde boy who had to have been Naruto had called a girl other than Sakura '-chan.' That just didn't happen! What was going on? Half of them were in shock. The rest joined them with their jaws on the floor as the two blondes started making out, and Sakura was still passed out from the killing intent Naruto and the redhead with the sand gourd had been exuding. Otherwise she would have tried to beat up Naruto and she would have regretted interrupting them for the rest of her life. Then Gaara saw Sasuke and the killing intent returned as sand began to swirl around the taciturn redhead as he growled out, "**Uchiha...**" in a deeper, demonic voice. Tendrils of sand whipped around Sasuke's legs and lashed his arms to his sides as he raised his hand. The sand covered the raven-haired boy as he continued, "**Sabaku Kyu.**" Naruto was chatting with Temari with their arms around each other, and small snippets floated out to the crowd. "...did the Yondaime Hokage thing again? Cool, you remembered what I liked..."

They completely and totally ignored the impending destruction of the Uchiha clan, staring into each other's eyes as Gaara's eyes became yellow with cross-shaped pupils and he began to clench his hand. "**Sabaku-**" Then in a swirl of sand and leaves appeared Baki, Gaara's jounin-sensei, and several Konoha ANBU.

"Sabaku no Gaara. We insist you release the Last Uchiha." stated an obviously pro-Sasuke ANBU with a badger mask on.

With his old maniacal grin firmly in place, Gaara tilted his head and asked, "**And if I don't want to?**"

"We will be forced to apprehend you-"

"**Like Uchiha supporters could stop me.**" As he said this, sand grabbed the ankles and wrists of all of the ANBU, binding them down. "**But, he gets one chance. If he ever happens to receive a cursed seal and try to leave for Orochimaru, I will kill him. Make no mistake.**"

Sweatdropping, they all thought _What are the chances of that? This guy is weird..._

As everyone was distracted by the drama unfolding in front of them, Naruto picked up Temari bridal style and disappeared in a flash of white light.

Timeskip: A couple days later

Jiraiya strolled into the Namikaze compound early in the morning, whistling merrily. He had gotten in a good peep at the hot springs earlier, and today his star pupil was taking the Chuunin Exams! Never mind that he was almost an exact copy of his last student, this was cool! So he was here to wake up Naruto, make sure he had a good breakfast, and offer some sage fatherly advice he had found in a book! Yosh! But when the Gama Sennin entered the room Naruto had claimed, he was very surprised to find a girl in bed with Naruto. So the boy had absorbed some of his teachings successfully! He pulled out his notebook and began scribbling furiously, giggling pervertedly as he watched. Apparently still in his sleep, Naruto's hand came out from under the covers, having to escape the girl's hand along the way. It fumbled around on the bedside table before he grabbed a kunai in a sure grip and threw it with deadly accuracy at Jiraiya's notebook, slashing the writing he was working on. Jiraiya looked up, shocked, and saw Naruto snuggle in closer to the other blonde's embrace, seemingly still fast asleep. Jiraiya shook his head at this, but he knew a way to wake him up. He quietly summoned a toad to sit on Naruto's head and slowly suffocate him.

True to form, Naruto stirred, and feeling a frog on his head, moved at his new and improved speed, grabbing the toad and hurling it onto Jiraiya's face before it could utter more than a surprised croak, and the self-proclaimed super pervert went down, taking the chair with him. The clatter fully woke both blondes, who were instantly on their feet, weapons in hand. A perverted giggle came from the pile and then Temari noticed she was still wearing only an oversized T-shirt and panties and she jumped behind the covers as a rage-fueled Naruto jumped his sensei for peeping on Temari. She quietly got dressed, ignoring the screams of pain and clatter of breaking things from the other side of the makeshift barrier of covers. So it was Chuunin Exam Day all over again, eh? Well, this time she was more than ready. But Naruto might have a slight problem, with such teammates. Oh well, Sakura was a nerd, written tests were about all she could do. Sasuke was Sharingan'ing the heck out of everything and anything. Naru-kun could take care of himself. Now, testing? Didn't only the tenth question matter? Leave Kankuro to his own devices, and Gaara knew the answers from the 'past'. To the exam room and that Torture and Interrogation dude!

A large crowd of genin were gathered around a door on the second floor of the exam building, which was guarded by Izumo and Kotetsu henge'd into genins, warning the genins that the exams were too hard. Naruto walked by, saw the group, and then saw the two guarding it. "Hey Izumo! Hey syrup-san! Why are you here on the second floor?" Kotetsu's eyebrow twitched at the nickname he was given. Just because he was eating syrup in the jounin break room that day...

Murmurs spread throughout the group of genin, "Second floor...?" "Aren't those the gate guards?" "Hey, I think this is genjutsu..."

Kotetsu rolled his eyes, "Thanks kitsune-chan."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BABY FOX?"

Kiba at this moment was wondering again why Naruto smelled like foxes. Always.

When they all entered the exam room, there was Kabuto sinking his claws into the new genin, with his cards and feigned weakness. He walked up to him, just to unnerve him, and said, "Kabuto-san, why do you smell like snakes?"

Kabuto's eyes grew wide for a second before he got himself back under control. "I have no idea, genin-san. Do you want to play a card game?"

A strange voice came from a bandaged sound shinobi. "Everyone knows the Pokemon card game is the best."

"But my- Ninja Info Cards-"

"Shut up!" The genin took a pass at him with his Melody Arm, and Kabuto's glasses broke as he fell to his knees coughing up blood.

"SHUT UP YOU MAGGOTS! IT'S TIME FOR THE EXAMS. DON'T KILL EACH OTHER UNTIL THE NEXT PORTION. Now get to seats. I'm the first examiner, Morino Ibiki."

"This test has ten questions and you have an hour. Nine are given on the test and the tenth question is given out after forty-five minutes. Begin!"

It did not take long for the chuunin hopefuls to figure out this test was about information gathering, i.e. cheating. Neji and Hinata used their Byakugan to see through people and spy on their tests. Ino used Shintenshin to take over Sakura and steal her answers. Sasuke copied the pencil movements of one of the chuunin plants. And so they all continued, some teams getting caught and kicked out. Temari, Gaara, and Naruto, however, knew all the answers from the last time through and finished in five minutes. Then they loudly flipped their papers over and set their pencils down, to the amazement of Leaf genin like Sakura. Then, Naruto turned to Temari, who he was sitting next to, and exclaimed, "Tema-chan, let's make out!"

"Okay, Naru-kun!"

Ibiki just shook his head. Kids these days. It wasn't technically cheating, unless perhaps the moans were somehow encoded? If they were, he wouldn't bust them. That was just too much. Their papers were already turned over, so they couldn't be cheating. Wow. Just, wow. Yondaime-clone making out with smoking hot sand girl? He discreetly took a picture to add to the bunch he presented to the Hokage in his report. Like that strange ball of sand, or the mirrors that seemed precisely angled all around the room, or the proctor which was actually a puppet. Interesting batch this year, including two jinchuurikis if he was correct. More than half the teams bowed out through the tenth question, but the blond brat interrupted his make-out session to give a speech about not giving up, and then Anko arrived through the window and the sign appeared.

Sexy and Single Second Examiner

Mitarashi Anko!

She was like that all the time. Seriously.


End file.
